These are two words that can strike fear into the hearts of even the strongest pillars of our community. The dreaded School Reunion brings with it the compulsory programme of exercise, liposuction, cosmetic surgery, and hair implants; along with a need to stretch out the CV and purchase a few honours and medals from Weetbix packets. One needs to look their best in front of the impending panel of one’s fomer peers. So much to fabricate, and so little time.

Massey High School

I went to Massey High School as a kid, and upon seeing the reunion advertised, dragged very reluctant friends Brian and Wendy (also former students) along with me to the Easter 40th Jubilee Reunion. Brian and Wendy invented many excuses as to why they wouldn’t be able to go, but perseverance paid off, and the happy trio (well, some of us were happy - the other two were regretting the favours that had now been called in) bundled ourselves off to the powhiri and school tour (we were too cheap to sign up for the dinner, and it had been downgraded from being held at the Trusts Stadium to instead being held in the school hall).

Sadly the reunion was a disappointment for us. It seems everyone else from our year suffered the same pre-reunion nerves and had failed to show. There was only one other person there from our year, and to add insult to injury, he hadn’t changed a bit in 20 years - same size, same looks, and still had lots of hair. I tell you, this was very unfair! Mother nature hadn’t been so kind to me, Brian and Wendy (although Brian and Wendy will disagree vehemently with this statement).

We endured a rather long powhiri where we couldn’t hear anyone because all the presenters had a fear of using a microphone, then had morning tea (where they ran out of cups so I couldn’t get a cup of tea), then ambled around a very different looking school. The roll is now 50% larger than when we attended, and there is a fantastic new science wing, fashion design classrooms, and workshops. There is also a new gymnasium, and a tennis centre. The infamous H block buildings had been tarted up, as had many of the other buildings. Clearly we all had it very hard when we were kids – nowadays school looks like a picnic. And the school uniforms are so much smarter.

Overall, it was great to revisit the school, but sad that so few people from our year had turned up. It seems we’re still too young for reunions, as everyone there was older (they didn’t even bother taking photographs for those of us who were students from the 1980s onwards). Perhaps having it over Easter also had an impact. Almost a waste of liposuction really. No-one to impress.   

Now we have to wait another 10 years before the next reunion. That’s 10 more years of keeping this body in it’s athletic, sculptured state ready to impress at the next gathering of one’s school peers. That’s if anyone actually shows up next time. Blah.