Going round in circles

Today we seem to have been going round in circles, which to most people would be quite frustrating, but to us is just all part of the adventure. We’ve racked up several hundred kilometres, but are now just 10 kilometres shy of where we left off this morning!

After another leisurely breakfast and soak in the pools at Waikite Valley, we departed for Rotorua again, having previously spied some end-of-line dinnerset pieces at the local Briscoes that just happened to match the campervan dinnerset. And as it happens, they only had one bowl left, and we were only one bowl short in the campervan, so it seems that once again all the planets are in alignment and our world is operating in harmony (we can’t have mismatching crockery can we!!).

Then it was off to Valentines for an all-you-can-eat lunch. Yes – there has been this consistent theme of gorging on food while in Rotovegas. Nice lunch, but not up to Valentines Wairau Park standards!

With stomachs full, we departed for Taupo – but as we were bored with the route we had just driven up from, we took a right and travelled to Taupo via Atiamuri.

At Taupo, Peter insisted we stop to look at boats at the marina, then we went to look at motorhomes at Barrons RV Centre. Lots of glamorous motorhomes and caravans, but nothing quite as fabulous as ours (even if ours looks like a travelling handbag given all the stuff we have crammed into it for our adventure).

Bored with Taupo and the usual tourist trail, we consulted the NZ Motor Caravan Association handbook and headed north to Reporoa (yes, just south of Rotorua) and found a little local gem known as Butcher’s Pool.

Butcher's Pool (Reporoa)

This is a free thermal pool maintained by the local council. After work, all the locals head here for a dip, and the motorhome handbook said this is a place we can camp overnight for free. So here we are. Night custodians of Butcher’s Pool.

P.S. I think we should rename our adventure Adam and Peter’s tour of thermal pools in New Zealand given that we’ve spent most of this trip sitting in hot pools (when not busy gorging at all-you-can-eat places!)

Tomorrow the plan is to head to Wairoa, then Napier, then Ruapehu later in the week when the weather improves…

Two old soaks on holiday

The continuing story of those delightful boys from Great Barrier Island and their ongoing holiday adventure…

We got up this morning, had breakfast, and did some washing at the camp (yay, clean clothes). Then we asked what time checkout was. “Oh anytime around midday, but have a soak in the pool first” was the reply. Dangerous move. Midday came and went, and we remained firmly ensconced in the deliciously comfortable thermal pools. Completely relaxed in my warm watery haven, I could barely lift a hand to signal to the receptionist that she might as well book us in for another night at the campsite.

Here at Waikite Valley they even have a licensed cafe, so I doubt I’ll be doing much cooking tonight.

Lost in space

The intrepid travellers continue their journey around the North Island of New Zealand, heading wherever their noses and stomachs take them. For the past two days, they have been parked up in Rotorua, spending last night camped at the Rotorua Stockcar Club…

We’re members of the Motor Caravan Association, and proudly display a set of red ‘wings’ embellished with our membership number on the front of our motorhome. Apart from guaranteeing a friendly wave from every other wings-bearing motorhome that we pass, we also get this snazzy little book of places to hide overnight. The book lists everything from the free sites, to the cheap sites, to the campgrounds and waste dump sites. Very handy indeed.

Freedom camping at Hamurana

The other night was a free site at Hamurana. Unbeknownst to us, you can’t just rollup and park at any ol’ reserve or road siding in New Zealand (like we’d be doing for years). Each local council has it’s own rules around freedom camping. Luckily our new book tells us just where we are allowed to stop to freedom camp, and what the local council’s rules are. Gosh, the fines can be steep if you get it wrong, and we’re pleased we haven’t been caught in the past. Given that we’ve been stung for an expired WOF and registration ($400) and a towed for an expired pay-and-display parking ticket ($200) in the past fortnight, it’s best we try to play it safe now.

Last night we tried the next level up in accommodation and went to a ‘Park Over Place’ or ‘POP’. These are properties that are usually owned by other members and provide space for motorhomes to park at a very low cost. So for a grand total of $5, we parked up at the Rotorua Stockcar Club POP. Luckily we picked a night when the stockcars weren’t doing their thing, otherwise we wouldn’t have got much sleep. The Stockcar Club was great – just outside Rotorua and in the country, and we were the only people there (apart from the Caretakers up at their house). We refrained from taking the motorhome for a sprint around the track and instead chose to head into town to soak in the Polynesian Pools before returning back to the POP to sleep for the night.

Today we woke to a beautiful day, dawdled through breakfast, and then headed into Rotorua where Peter dragged us into the local VW centre in search of rare and exotic parts for his ever-rusting VW collection. Yes, just what we need – more VW bits! I sit here typing with two long Beetle running boards wrapped in brown paper jammed up against me. I’m beginning to think that we are travelling around in a car parts truck rather than a motorhome!

Then it was off to Pizza Hut for a $10.95 all-you-can-eat lunch (quantity minus the quality – won’t be repeating in a hurry), followed amazingly by a long cycle around Rotorua’s thermal waterfront. I guess we had to work lunch off somehow…

Thermal walkway (well, we cycled)

The Waterfront Thermal Walkway is great – I never knew it existed. It travels right behind the Government Gardens and out past the Polynesian Pools.

Rotorua Museum (Government Gardens)

After our cycle, we thought we might head off to Taupo. So we packed up the motorhome and headed down SH5. Just before Wai-o-tapu, we spied a sign pointing towards the Waikite Valley thermal pools. Well, it had been nearly 24 hours since we had taken the waters, so we turned off to continue our adventure in previously unnavigated territory.

A short 6km trip bought us to the Waikite Thermal Pools and Campground. Here we quickly worked out that if we stayed the night, we got free entry to the pools. This effectively meant that we were paying only $12 to stay the night in the campground. This would be our most expensive camping site yet!

Much to my delight, I found the campsite had a power connection. Now, we have never connected our motorhome to power before – even at Waiwera. Amazing things happened when I connected the power lead up to the supply box. No, nothing exploded or caught fire. Just new lights inside the motorhome started working (the 240v ones), and the microwave oven and fridge burst into life (we’d just been using the fridge in gas mode until now). Gosh this was civilised. And there was even a washing machine at the camp so that we could put Peter’s socks through a few cycles.

The thermal pools here at Waikite Valley are great. Boiling water gushes out of the ground and along a surging stream, and the pool people draw water from the stream and spray it into the air to cool it before it runs down a channel and into the pools. Each night they empty the pools completely, then refill them again each morning. The joy of camping here means that we can have another soak tomorrow before we leave. These value-seeking Kiwis must get their money’s worth!

More photos to follow soon. Our loose plan is to head to Taupo, and then Ruapehu. But the plan changes daily, which is just how things should be really.

Peter bothering the swans on Lake Rotorua

Winter Wanderlust

We’re off touring the country in our motorhome at present.

Last night we sped off to Miranda and soaked ourselves in the hot pools. There is this great spot in Miranda right on the water called ‘Ray’s Rest’ which is a hideaway for motorhomes that are too cheeky to check into a holiday park (or those like us who prefer freedom camping as it is known). We spent a lovely night on the water’s edge dodging the thunderstorm that passed over, and woke to brilliant sunshine.

Then it was off to Thames for shopping. Thames is the new Melbourne. We shopped till we dropped, and have filled the motorhome up with new clothes and tacky things ready for our jaunt further south into the deep New Zealand winter.

Then we drove through picturesque Te Aroha and admired the buildings and houses, then scurried along quaint back roads past the Wairere Waterfall and onto Rotovegas! We’re now camped at another ‘free camping’ spot right on the edge of Lake Rotorua round at Hamurana. Tomorrow we’re off to the metropolis of Rotorua to play ‘tourist’. Yay!

Te Aroha Domain and Museum

Wairere Falls

We would thoroughly recommend the back road from Te Aroha to Te Poi. No traffic, straight country roads, and great views of the ranges. We must spend more time here on a later jaunt.

But wait, there’s more…

And you thought this website was just a collection of our mutterings. You clearly thought wrong.

Our new broadband connection (yes, we do get a high speed connection over here on the island) means that we’ve been able to surf the net and find new things to add for your entertainment pleasure.

Check out the menu tabs on this site. If you’re bored with your music collection, have a look at what we’re listening to, or check out some videos we found. I promise I’ll update the recipes as soon as I finish the new kitchen (I’m rather gastronomically challenged with a lack of workspace and cooking devices at present!)

Enjoy!

Speaking of chocolate

My name is Adam and I’m a chocoholic. But I’m also very brand sensitive, and Cadbury has been my vice since I was a child.

You can imagine my horror when I learned that the sods in Dunedin had changed the recipe and added palm oil instead of cocoa butter. What’s more, they were now producing the stuff in Aussie instead of here. I rushed down to the local Barrier store to buy up the last of the old stock, but alas, fresh cardboard packets of the new shite lined the shelves. It tasted awful.

Bitter and not Bittersweet of Tryphena then got typing and sent Mr Cadbury a letter (yes, too much time on my hands, obviously). The betrayal; poisoning such a beautiful recipe in the search for greater profits; the poor Orangutans evicted from their natural habitats so that acres and acres of cheap and nasty chocolate could be produced for less sensitive palates. My taste buds would no longer embrace the Cadbury brand. It was evolving into a bitter divorce…

Fortunately, someone at Cadbury saw the light, or the falling sales figures, or simply got their arse kicked. And the rainclouds parted, and once again the land was blessed with chocolate made from cocoa butter instead of vegetable fat. The Orangutans rejoiced. And a letter was sent to Bitter and not Bittersweet of Tryphena…

Dear Adam

Recently you contacted us to express your disappointment that Cadbury in New Zealand had introduced vegetable fat, including a small amount of palm oil, into the recipe for Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate.

I am pleased to inform you that based on your feedback and that of hundreds of other New Zealanders, we have decided to remove vegetable fat, including palm oil, from Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate and return to a cocoa butter only recipe.

At the time, that we introduced vegetable fat, including palm oil, we
genuinely believed we were making the right decision, for the right
reasons. However, it is clear that we got it wrong. Now we’re putting
things right by returning to a cocoa only recipe as soon as we possibly
can. We sincerely apologise for making a recipe change that you and many others did not like and hope that you forgive us. Cadbury Dairy Milk’s quality is what’s made Cadbury one of New Zealand’s/Australia’s most trusted brands for many years. Changing the recipe put that trust at risk and we hope that by returning to a cocoa butter only recipe is a change for the better.

I’d also like to reassure you that at Cadbury, we remain committed to its product quality and environmental and ethical sourcing commitments. As a responsible business the palm oil we purchased for Cadbury Dairy Milk was independently certified as sustainable and we are one of the few companies in New Zealand to do so. However, you and many other consumers have told us you don’t want palm oil in your Cadbury Dairy Milk, so it’s going.

Production of the cocoa butter only Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate will begin within a few weeks and Cadbury Dairy Milk will shortly, once again, contain only cocoa butter. The wholesale price that retailers pay us for Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate will not be affected as a result of our decision to return to a cocoa butter only recipe.

Once  again thank you for your support.  We hope the change back to a cocoa butter  only  recipe  will  help  restore  your  faith  in  Cadbury and our products.

Yours sincerely,
CADBURY LIMITED NEW ZEALAND

So the world is now back in a state of equilibrium. Chocolate is safe from attack, and business schools across the country have a fresh example of what a multinational company with a trusted brand should not do unless they are wanting to commit marketing suicide.

And Bitter and not Bittersweet of Tryphena waits quitely for the new stock to hit the local store. Bl&%dy ferry better arrive on time. Need chocolate…

Want a free night in a hotel?

Regular viewers will be aware of the severe angst I have been having over the past year with my cellphone provider. When we moved to the Barrier last year, we signed up with good ol’ Vodaphony, and went wireless with everything – mobile, landline and internet. I cut the service off in April after months of lousy customer service, incorrect bills, and poorly functioning technology.

Whilst discussing my experience loudly at a party, a sympathetic ear suggested I contact Orcon. What a breath of fresh air. Good service. No term contracts. Month by month provision of excellent service delivered simply and efficiently (yes, we now have high speed wireless broadband here on Fantasy Island!). And the package we have includes a landline and unlimited toll calls.

Now Orcon have set up a deal where if any of you switch to them as your provider, both you and I will get a free hotel getaway worth $200 (that’s you and I separately as two hotel getaways, not you and I in the same room or bed). And there’s a free bottle of bubbles and a box of chockies to boot. Offer ends 30 September 2009.

So switch to Orcon now – I fancy a hotel trip away somewhere, and you bl&%dy well look like you need a holiday. Remember to say that I referred you (enter my number 11751620).

I promise I’ll stop doing product promotions soon – it’s just that I’m sick of the way telcos have been locking us into contracts and ripping us off. The contracts have given them an excuse to provide sloppy service. But this consumer says “no more!”

My last year of being 30-something

Regular readers will know that there was some hesitation about celebrating my recent birthday. I thought it was to do with this being my last year of being 30-something. I’d said to Peter that I didn’t want a party this year – I just wanted to run away in the motorhome to Rotorua.

However, friends and family seemed dejected, and a last-minute soiree was organised at one of Auckland’s classiest establishments – Valentines North Shore. Why? Well I get to dine for free on my birthday of course!

They say that in times of crisis, you certainly get to know who your friends are. I’d also add that when you choose Valentines as the main attraction for your birthday, you also truly get to know who your friends are. They are the ones that will put on a brave face and force themselves, godwilling, through the door and into a torturous buffet extravaganza – just for you! I had a boss once who was horrified that I liked Valentines. I just like buffets. Everyone can find something that they like to eat, and it’s as cheap as chips.

The days leading up to the birthday were filled with anxious calls and emails from said friends who were trying to convince me that I should choose a more decadent venue, but I would not be swayed. “Pretend we are going to a wedding”, I said. A buffet is a buffet!

So eleven of us, including four Valentines virgins,  piled into the restaurant and began a delightful gorgefest. There were twelve people booked in, but one friend pulled a ’sickie’ at the last moment (hmmm, I want to see a doctor’s certificate!). Another friend said she only came as she’d decided put the experience on her ‘bucket list’ – the list of things that you have to do or achieve in your life before you kick the bucket. Gosh – this was Valentines North Shore – not Valentines Mt Everest!

The restaurant staff were delightful, and the food was actually really good. Bravo Valentines North Shore – we all had a great time.

Too many candles for my ageing breath

Afterwards I had an epiphany and realised why I wasn’t keen to celebrate my birthday this year. Last year had been a terrible year, and my uncle (my father’s brother) had died the day before my birthday, with my Gran (my father’s mother) then dying the day after my birthday. Therefore my birthday last year was consumed with a family in crisis and grief.

I’m pleased that I did something this year, even if it was Valentines. I was beginning to worry that I’d never be able to enjoy a birthday again. But torturing close friends by forcing them to go to a restaurant they wouldn’t be seen dead in was great fun.

I got some great presents. One of them was a cookbook by Jo Seager with recipes that look so delightful and delicious, they’ll be churned out with regularity in the new kitchen and larder (if we ever finish building it). Another very special present was given to me by my mother. She gave me a box with the following photograph in it:

Harold Kelly Hill Snr & Jr

The dashing young man on the right is my Great Grandfather, and the man on the left is his father. Attached to Great Great Grandpa’s waistcoat is a sterling silver fob watch. And in the box given to me by my mother was the same watch – freshly repaired, restored, and cleaned by an expert watchsmith. So I now have Grandpa Hill’s watch to look after, which was passed from him to Pa Hill (my Great Grandfather, the man on the right), then to his wife, my delightful Great Grandmother Nana Hill (who died when I was in my twenties), then to my wonderful Grandma, and then last year to my mum after Grandma died.

So now I have a treasured timepiece to help me keep track of the minutes, hours and days as they slip by. My ever receding youth. It certainly gives some credence to the quote “Life ain’t no dress rehearsal – you gotta make the most of it while you still got some”. So go on – add Valentines to your ‘bucket list’ now. Before it’s too late!

Wretched tow trucks

Okay, put your hand up if you’ve been towed away from a carpark before.

Yes, this last happened to me about 20 years ago when I parked my car on yellow lines in the nurses home carpark following a night shift. I later woke from from night shift induced coma to find that the lovely nurses home officials had towed away my little turquoise Holden Barina. Boy was I grumpy.

This morning I got to re-live the experience when my car was towed from the Westhaven Marina carpark. I’d left it there when we boarded the ferry to the Barrier the other morning. Peter, who is now back on the mainland for a few days, went to uplift the car and found that the toweys has beaten him by 20 minutes. Bl%&dy pay and display machines. F%#&ing toweys. It seems that although I thought the carpark ticket expired at 10.58 this morning, it actually expired at 4.58am. Bl@$dy early morning ferry rides and carparks with poor lighting.

Two hundred dollars later and the car is now free. To relieve my anger, I downed two cups of peppermint tea, and took to the kitchen and bathroom walls with a sledge hammer. I’m feeling much better now.

Anger management therapy in progress

The wall (pictured above) is now completely demolished, and will be later rebuilt to form the walls of our new kitchen larder. Imagine a room with open shelves lined with tins of food and jars of preserves – a virtual home supermarket – and you’ll be imagining what our current renovation project will evolve into. Now if I can just bury a few tow truck drivers and a pay-and-display machine beneath the concrete foundations as I renovate, I’ll be even happier. Time for another peppermint tea obviously…

Where has the last month gone?

Things have been rather busy over the past month – I don’t know how we ever managed to fit careers into our lives.

We’re on the mainland at present, having missed the ferry to the island by a whole 15 minutes. That was after spending 3 days loading a furniture trailer and Landrover to the roof, then getting up at 4am to drag the overloaded trailer with faulty lights and brakes inconspicuously down the motorway, only to find the wharf empty of cars and sans ferry!

So we’ve now had to find some secure parking as we didn’t want the ordeal of returning the trailer through peak morning traffic to Waiwera. Next Tuesday we’ll repeat the whole drama again, but we’ll get up a little earlier so that we’ll actually catch the ferry on time.

Monday is my 30-something birthday, so I’m having a small gathering with a few friends at somewhere unspectacular to mourn the loss of the remnants of my youth. Next year is the big ‘four-oh’. Yes, there’ll be a big hoolie over on the island to celebrate middle adulthood. You’re all invited. In the meantime I’ll quietly contemplate my last year of being 30-something.

The house at Great Barrier looks like a bombsite. We’re right in the thick of renovations (yes, we’re addicted to renovating). The kitchen and bathroom have been gutted, every room is littered with boxes of stuff awaiting new cupboards and pantry, and the shells and roof of the two chalets have been built. Now comes the finishing work, which we’re going to delay, because we’ve decided to run away in the motorhome for a few weeks. I might do a spot of snow skiing while I’m still 30-something and able to. Statistically I’m more likely to break or rupture something on the mountain after next year. Best that I make the most of the year ahead then. Keep watching this space.

Winter on the Barrier

Cooking up a storm

Blustery day - surf's up!

Here we are right in the thick of winter, and coping very well with island life. We have had both extremes of weather – some brilliant sunny and hot days then counterbalanced by days like today – stormy and wet.

The winds are blowing right into the harbour today. The local Fire Brigade are busy helping our neighbour out after her roof blew off. And we’re simply relieved that we got the roof on one of the new chalets in time ahead of this current storm hitting.

The beginnings of a new chalet

Cakes or concrete: both need mixers and recipes

Things start to take shape

The weather has been ghastly

Everything is sopping wet – the lawn and the unsealed parts of the driveway in particular, and everything is muddy – not helped by the fact we’ve been trucking and towing building supplies around the property. But it is all means to an end, and we’re just very relieved we concreted the worst of the drive earlier this year, otherwise we’d been marooned on our own property right now.

Despite the weather, we’re tucked up inside nice and warm. I have the wood fired stove going, and have impressed myself with the delights I have cooked up over the past few weeks: home-made marmalade, roasts galore, chocolate cakes, muffins, fresh bread, seafood soups, freshly caught crayfish, and a variety of other winter soups and stews. You can see we’re not starving over here! And all this in a quarter finished kitchen.

Goodbye hideous tiled bench!

Speaking of the kitchen, we have half the new floor down and that is about it. The outside BBQ table is acting as my kitchen bench at the moment, and I had to disconnect the gas to move things around, hence why everything is now being cooked on the wood fired stove. I feel very Amish, and am loving it.

Peter has to go back to the mainland next week, but I have to wait on the island for the fireplace installer to turn up (he is moving the wood fired stove around the kicthen). That should make cooking fun having no gas and no stove! Then I’ll fly back to join Peter as we have yet ANOTHER load of stuff to bring to the island on the ferry. Then we are planning to return to the mainland in August for my birthday where we will escape in the motorhome for a few weeks. Rotovegas here we come!

We’re certainly not short of things to do with all of our various projects. I’ve also been roped onto an event planning committee for an island based race, and I’m busy trying to establish an ambulance and other St John services here on the island. No time for boredom!

There is a fantastic sense of community here on Great Barrier. And it is winter that really brings out the best in the islanders. I’ve just been called by one of the local timber yards to check that we’re okay and that the storm hasn’t destroyed out building efforts. The guys are going to come up and help me finish the roof flashings next week. If one starts to get ‘cabin fever’, islanders pull together and organise a get together by the fire, or a dinner or other social occasion. Who needs shopping malls to keep one entertained. There is an amazing sense of everyone being in this together, and needing to help each other in the process.

Moonrise over Gooseberry Flat

Yes, I’m really enjoying winter on the island. Fingers crossed Waiwera is surviving the storm. At least we don’t have to worry about the storm taking out the power over here – we generate all our own power. There is something lovely about being so self-sufficient. Gawd – this really is becoming another Richard Briers and the Good Life episode!

Sunset over the Tryphena Harbour

A beautiful Barrier winter’s day

Another hideous day in paradise

After a stormy night, and warnings on the TV about tornadoes around the Coromandel, we woke to a brilliant Barrier winter’s day. I could have sworn it was summer again – blue skies; clear calm water; lovely T-shirt temperature.

Peter’s brother Andy is over helping us to do some building. Today we changed a door in my workshop, and tomorrow we start work on building two garden chalets for guests to stay in. The kitchen is about to be ripped out, which I am nervous about, because I don’t quite know how I’m going to be able to cook and do dishes with no kitchen. There’s only so many cans of spaghetti one can tolerate.

Peter and Andy are out fishing at the moment. Hopefully that means fresh snapper for breakfast. I see they forgot to take the craypot out.

Speaking of crayfish, we caught our first crayfish the other day. This was eaten very promptly, leaving none for my poor mother who has been constantly demanding a fresh crayfish be sent over to the mainland when she heard we were moving to the island. It’s only taken us a year to learn how to catch one, so hopefully one day mum will get her tasty wish!

Cyril the crayfish has a warm bath

Cyril waits patiently for lunch

Matariki

The other night, we had the pleasure of attending the local Matariki celebrations here at Tryphena on Great Barrier Island. What a fantastic community experience!

Picture a hundred or so locals piled into the local community hall. The children from the island’s three schools had made paper lanterns, and these were suspended from the ceiling of the hall. Each lantern was lit from within, and when the hall lights were turned off, it was quite a spectacle.

A kapa haka group from Kaipara were the special invited guests, and treated the audience to a fantastic performance.

Then all the locals and guests piled outside to a marquee packed with food for a gorgefest and chinwag.

I must now apologise to the citizens of Blenheim, who I dissed last Christmas after I spied their community Christmas Party in the flesh. Although my commentary at the time was jestful, it also undervalued the magnificence and specialness of our local kiwi community spirit. Here we were, ensconced in the Tryphena Hall, and delighted by the effort people had gone to on a cold, dark winter’s night on an island in the middle of nowhere. We were experiencing the local community at it’s best.

Bravo to the Island Arts Trust who organised the event. All for free too. Good show.

Another load to the island

We’re back on Fantasy Island now, having dragged a truckload and boat load of goodies across with us. The truck was loaded to the max with building materials for our winter projects, and boxes of our prized possessions (i.e. crap we’d collected over the years). The boat carried our quad bike, it’s trailer, and a huge statue of Tutenkamen (yes, that’s right, more crap for the garden).

The truck got up our new driveway with ease, so we’ll be back to the mainland in a few weeks time with another truck and a larger trailer to move even more stuff. I reckon that if we continue moving at the rate of a truck a month, we might be fully moved by July 2015!

Perhaps we might need to start parting with some of our prized possessions? Nah! Silly idea!

The unfortunate experiment

Now readers, be warned that you should not try this at home. Also note that this segment contains nudity that might not be appropriate for younger viewers.

On a cold and blustery night at Waiwera recently, we decided to fill the spa pool, and muggins here, seeing we were short of chlorine, opted to use large chlorine tablets designed for swimming pools instead.

By the second night, the whole chlorine tablet had dissolved (not that we’d noticed), and a strange tingling sensation was noted by the bathers.

Later that night, as we emerged from the spa, we noticed the bright red rash all over our bodies, and muggins decided to test the spa water with a dipstick. Well, it seems I was the dipstick. The chlorine levels were well off the chart! We were effectively soaking in Janola!

The next few days were torturous, as one experienced burns and peeling in one’s nether regions. I tell you, one’s nads aren’t designed for peeling!

So the moral of the story is to always follow instructions on packets, and not use your own body to ‘test the waters’. Readers will be relieved to know that we promptly dumped the pool load of water, and after a week of difficulty, all is back to normal down below.

Nothing like a chemical peel to make one feel a little younger!